Another friend, Laura, says she fantasizes about not having kids—all the time. The right to complain The debate: Should you wait to have kids?
For me, one of the most frustrating aspects is the level of ingratitude I live with every day. And the total lack of awareness of what it takes to keep everyone clothed and fed. In a study, sociologist Orna Donath of Tel Aviv University found the public airing of maternal grievances may still be considered unnatural and may even be viewed as some kind of mental illness.
Women who express regret are assumed to be unable to love their child or are considered in some way less feminine, she found. Basically, society thinks there must be something horribly wrong with the mother who expresses dissatisfaction with parenthood. Luckily, I have people I can be truly honest with, like my frank and funny friend, Laura. Like me, Laura has fielded plenty of judgy comments and is way better than I am at shrugging them off. She laughs as she tells me that if you used IVF to have your children, like she did, then you are forbidden from complaining, even to your immediate family.
The right to contemplate what if? How happy do we have a right to be? There are times when I feel as though motherhood has sucked all the life from me, destroying every shred of potential, leaving me a dried husk of what I could have been. Would I have created something important and beautiful? I didn't have a car or any friends or any work that fulfilled me. My mother passed away. I hit rock bottom, but because of that I started going to therapy finally and got diagnosed with ADHD.
For me, the takeaway is that I should've believed myself when I said I wasn't ready to have kids. I feel like having a child was the worst decision I ever made. I had a truly fulfilling life before, traveling the world and working in a job I loved that tested me intellectually every day. I secretly wonder if the people who claim their children made their lives better really had that great of a life to begin with.
How did life change for you when you had a child? Is it like what everyone says, that it changes for the better and you feel a kind of love that makes nothing else matter? If not do you ever regret. Newest First. Violation Reported. I thoughts that what I wanted. I regret having a child.
I would never tell this to my child, nor would I ever give her up for adoption. I feel the same way! I never regretted getting pregnant, I never regretted having my baby. I left her dad when she turned 2.
Im a very good young mom, I love spending time with my LO. Parenting is not that difficult for me atleast, although I dont have a teen yet! I think its unfortunate if people regret their child. Children are blessings. Show 4 Previous Comments. Corky, Gather up a support system. Corky, Oh crikey! I hope you have a smooth delivery and a fairly easy transition to two smalls! Sorry, this content has been deleted. I do regret it a lot of nights but I know I love her. I don't regret my daughter now in any way and I love her to pieces!!
I had days during pregnancy where I was like "what did I do?? So I guess I regretted it for minutes at a time. But I've never regretted my kids. I just knew I always wanted them and I feel like I'd be bored and probably get into trouble if I didn't have them. They've enriched my life for sure.
I don't regret getting pregnant or having a child. I have never liked kids. So to say my child was unplanned is an understatement. I can stop taking birth control. We were in agreement that, in no shape or form, did we want kids. But when I became miraculously pregnant a couple of years later everything changed. I discovered I was pregnant after checking myself into hospital for having bouts of random rage which far exceeded being pre-menstrual.
It was not long after my epilepsy diagnosis, so I feared there had been a complication. But when the doctor told me I was two months pregnant, I was beyond disbelief. To my surprise, he convinced me that there was no reason not to have it; we were getting married, we were old enough, we were financially stable. The whole pregnancy felt like when a friend talks you into skydiving: how did I say yes to this?
I was completely terrified, in a constant state of fear.
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